Speakers, Never Say You’re Sorry
Love means never having to say you're sorry.
“I'm sorry, but I had only an hour to put this speech together.”
“I'm sorry … I need to look at my notes.”
“I'm sorry to get started late; the traffic was horrible.”
“I'm sorry, but my slide remote isn't working.”
Excuses! Excuses!
Never say you're sorry. Apologies tell your audience they're getting less than what was promised. An apology is an admission of failure—your failure to give value to your audience.
Whatever the circumstances surrounding your performance may be, deal with them! Your audience has problems of their own, and they didn't come to listen to you complain. If equipment fails or you forget a line, smile, do what you need to do, and keep on going. If you get started late, jump into your presentation with verve and let them wonder if they got there early. Most of the people watching your presentation will find it remarkable that you have the chutzpah to get up on the stage and speak at all. When gremlins sabotage your show, even if you have to interrupt your speech to put out a fire, tend to your work with grace and dignity. Engage and amaze your audience by showing them how cool you are under pressure.
I coached Joe, a speaker who was nervous about assuming a new meeting role. “Don't apologize or make excuses. Don't ask the audience to give you a pass because you're unfamiliar with the job. Just do your best and ask for help if you need it.” At the end of the meeting, one of the participants pointed out how smoothly the meeting had gone under Joe's management.
The style with which you manage inevitable performance problems is an indicator of your power and leadership. When problems come up—and they will—treat them as rites of passage on your speaker's journey. Being a professional means never having to say you're sorry.
TY, good tips for owning a situation. I keep a poster on my refrigerator reminding me not to apologize all the time. Instead of “sorry I’m late” Thank you for waiting for me. “sorry I’m a mess” Thank for accepting me.
I say, “Expect the Unexpected and be Flexible”
No apologies here!
Thanks Dave for another good article! I have one observation – there is a big difference between “inevitable performance problems” and obvious lack of preparation. The examples offered suggest that at least some of those issues could have been avoided on the part of the speaker. I agree that we should not apologize and draw attention to our shortcomings. I also believe that we should hold in trust the fact that the audience is depending on us to make good use of their time by being fully prepared.
And I agree with you. Nevertheless, we are all subject to Murphy’s law. Make something idiot-proof and the world always builds a better idiot. No matter how prepared you are (and to your point, you should be VERY prepared), the true stories I’ve heard of heart attacks, fire drills, women speakers sitting up and leaving their skirts behind, a rented elephant messing up the stage and stomp-splashing it everywhere. You can’t make this stuff up. Something will go wrong. How we handle a disaster often says more about our professionalism than what we do to prevent it. THanks for your comment.